Merry Christmas Unkle Moose

Twas weeks before Christmas one year so they say;
When Good Uncle Phil rolled up with his sleigh;

A list, he did bring, full of good cheer;
A list, he did bring, full of great fear!

But this year Old Man Phillip decided to change
all of the rules to the great Keuhlen gift exchange.

The burden fell to me, a new wrapping challenge,
to gift Unkle Moose with a New Fangled Package.


So what do I give the greatest gift wrapper?

To space! I first thought, with strong new materials;
Alas, I had neither equipment nor chemicals.

Think! He muttered.
Think! He paced.

A consult with victims of christmasses past,
would only yield repeats or the vengeance they asked.

Eureka! I clammored thinking I'd won,
That paper I read in Nature, how fun!

No simpler or easy could it be to brew!
But alas again and anew,
it needs a good forge and materials too!

With time so short, how could I build?
Something unbreakable; something so skilled?

And only then did I see,
the way it must be.

For puzzles can't break open.
Their answers are only spilled
by the cleverest wit,
not a high caliber bullet.


So see there, dear reader,
This poem here's for you!

A guide post, instructions, new rules if I may.
To find your cash prize, this is the way!

The rules here are simple, one month do you have.
To claim that sweet moolah, or relish the pain
of watching thoses dollars wash down the drain.

Not to the sewer, no not that kind of waste,
instead they will be sent to a charity you distaste.

The puzzle is simple, seven hundred new pieces*,
the form? A beautiful picture of meeses.